How to Write Gooder

# Always avoid alliteration.
# Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
# Avoid cliches like the plague—they’re old hat.
# Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
# Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
# Parenthetical words however must be enclosed in commas.
# It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
# One should never generalize.
# Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
# It behooves you to avoid archaic expressions.
# Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
# Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
# Don’t use commas, that, are not, necessary.
# Never use a big word when a diminutive alternative would suffice.
# Subject and verb always has to agree.
# Be more or less specific.
# Use youre spell chekker to avoid mispeling and to catch typograhpical errers.
# Don’t never use no double negatives.
# Poofread carefully to see if you any words out.
# Eschew obfuscation.
# Don’t indulge in sesquipedalian lexicological constructions.
# Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
# Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
# Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
# If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be by rereading and editing.
# And always be sure to finish what

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